


Ego Christmas Day 1: Mistletoe

by amporasbitch



Series: Ego Christmas 2017 [1]
Category: Real Person Fiction, Youtube RPF
Genre: Christmas, Funny, Gen, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mistletoe, Sappy Ending, this is very silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 10:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amporasbitch/pseuds/amporasbitch
Summary: As much as Wilford and Bim love Christmas, their opinions on mistletoe differ greatly. Maybe they need a tiebreaker of sorts.





	Ego Christmas Day 1: Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wasn't planning to participate in Ego Christmas, but as soon as I saw the list this idea popped into my head and I had to make it happen. I probably won't do every prompt, and the ones I manage probably won't be on time, but I'll try to do a few.
> 
> Anyhow, hope you enjoy this one!

The Christmas season has finally come to Ego Inc., and in Wilford and Bim’s opinion, it’s about damn time. The pair had practically been counting down the seconds until Thanksgiving was over—not that they hadn’t tried to decorate earlier, but Dark had insisted that they wait, wanting to make the Christmas season as short and painless as possible. Not that Wilford and Bim see it that way, though. They both love Christmas, and the proof is in Ego Inc.’s current appearance: Garlands and tinsel along every shelf and doorframe, Christmas trees dripping ornaments in every common room, wreaths personalized for each ego on every bedroom door, and rainbow strings of lights absolutely everywhere, to the point where not even the fall of night can stop one from seeing each and every decoration. Had Wilford and Bim not been stopped by the others, Christmas music would be blaring through the building’s PA system. At this point, Wilford and Bim have done Christmas together enough times that they can get the whole building decorated in the span of half a day, dividing and conquering, both of them equally happy with the results.

There is one thing they can never agree on, however. One argument they have every year. One decoration that one wants to put up while the other would rather throw it back into the basement.

The mistletoe.

“Why do you insist on putting this up every goddamn year??” Wilford yells, pointing at the mistletoe hanging on the ceiling, right in the center of the third-floor hallway. If Wilford knows Bim, there’s one in the same place in every other hallway, and probably one in the lobby, too.

“Because it’s Christmas!” Bim yells back, “You _have_ to have mistletoe at Christmas!”

“No you don’t,” Wilford mutters, pointing accusingly, “You just want an excuse to kiss Oliver!”

“Th-that’s not true!” Bim is quick to reply despite his blush. “Ollie’s my boyfriend, I can kiss him anytime I want! I want this up because it’s tradition!”

“It’s stupid, is what it is!” Wilford counters.

“It’s pretty and perfect for the season and you can just walk around it!” Bim shouts.

“I don’t wanna have to watch people kiss each other all the time,” Wilford replies, rolling his eyes, “I get enough of that when the Jims help out in the studio.”

“That’s _your_ fault for asking for their help,” Bim retorts, “You freak them out so much they can’t say no!” He shakes his head. “This isn’t even about the Jims!!”

“You’re right, it’s about this mistletoe, and why it’s dumb, and why I’m taking it down.”

“If you do, I’ll just put it back up!”

“It’s just a hunk of grass, it doesn’t matter!”

“It is _not_ grass, and you just admitted that it doesn’t matter, so why can’t you just deal with it!”

“If it doesn’t matter then _you_ can take it down!”

“That’s not what I meant! I’m not taking it down!!”

“Well, I’m not leaving it up!!”

“What exactly are you both shouting about?”

Wilford and Bim look away from each other to see Dark approaching them. Bim ducks his head, suddenly nervous, but Wilford’s demeanor barely changes.

“That!” Wilford yells, pointing at the mistletoe. Dark’s eyes flit towards it as he pointedly walks around it to get to Wilford and Bim.

“What about it?” Dark asks. It’s clear that Dark doesn’t much care, and only wishes to silence the argument.

“It’s stupid!” Wilford says, “We don’t need mistletoe up! It’ll just make everyone all mushy!”

“It’s _Christmas!_ ” Bim puts in, regaining his earlier fire, “Mistletoe is an important part of Christmas! It’d be like leaving out the wreaths or the trees!”

“For once,” Dark sighs, “I have to agree with Wilford.”

“What!? Why??” Bim cries.

“Because, I do not wish to have to avoid them every time I choose to walk somewhere,” Dark growls, “And the less Christmas _sappiness_ I have to put up with, the better.”

“Oh, come _on!_ ” Bim groans, “Wilford won this argument last year, can’t I have them up this year? It’s only fair!”

“Right now, it’s two against one,” Wilford says, “So it’d be unfair to go with the choice of the one!”

“I can’t believe you’re making _Wilford_ of all people sound logical,” Dark mutters, “Just take the mistletoe _down,_ Trimmer.”

The argument between two now has three, and it resumes louder and angrier than ever, and it seems as if there’ll never be a resolution. Bim would normally be much more inclined to listen to Dark, but when he gets into an argument like this, his only concern is winning. He may be outnumbered, but he has more than enough determination to make up for it. Wilford is never more stubborn then when he has someone who agrees with him, and the fact that it’s Dark makes him even more hardheaded than usual. And Dark? He certainly _could_ turn up his cruelty, make his voice growling and angry, make his aura wave around and cloud out the light, drop the hallway’s temperature to remind Bim of who’s in charge here, but he has a reputation to uphold. How would it look if he used his best intimidation tactics for something so petty? It wouldn’t be worth the effort, and it’d only make him look bad. He’s becoming increasingly tempted to take that risk, though, as the argument gets more and more out of control. Eventually, Wilford and Bim’s hands are sparking with pink and purple power, and Dark’s shell is beginning to warp and snap in irritation.

The argument is so fierce, in fact, that no one notices the fourth person that wanders up to check out the argument until he lets out a gasp, not at the fight, but at something else that distracts his attention.

“Mistletoe!” Yandereplier says brightly, looking up at the sprig on the ceiling, “It’s so pretty!”

Of course Yandere, the one person who could love mistletoe as much as Bim does, would show up. The others are startled into silence, but after a moment, Bim sees an opportunity.

“I just put it up,” he says, grinning and perfectly composed, “You like it?”

“I love it!” Yandere giggles, “It’s so _kawaii!_ ”

“It’s not that—” Wilford starts.

“I’m glad _somebody_ thinks so,” Bim interrupts, pointing at Wilford and Dark, “These two grinches are making me take it down.”

“Aw, no!” Yandere cries, smile disappearing, “Don’t make Bim take it down! It’s so nice and romantic! Please?” He looks to the two of them with a pouting mouth and sad brown eyes.

Dark and Wilford falter. Dark adores Yandere and can’t deny him anything, and Wilford doesn’t want to upset the ego who’s practically a little brother to him. Both of them are helpless to Yandere’s puppy-dog stare, and Bim knows it, if the smug grin on his face is any indication.

They look at Yandere. They look at Bim. They look at each other.

They realize they’ve been bested.

“Fine,” Dark growls, one hand rubbing his temples as he feels a headache forming.

“I guess,” Wilford mutters, giving his own pout.

“Yay~!” Yandere laughs.

“Great!” says Bim, still grinning. But he quickly sees Dark and Wilford’s irritated expressions, and now that he’s won the argument, his self-preservation instincts turn back on. “I’ll, uh, be going now,” he says quickly, before turning and practically running to the elevator.

“Oh no you don’t!” Wilford yells after him, giving chase. “You’re paying for that, Trimmer! Wilford Warfstache don’t take no shit from nobody!!”

Yandere giggles, and Dark wonders why Wilford doesn’t just teleport after him. Dark himself can’t really be bothered; he’s too busy thinking about how he now has to deal with mistletoe all December long.

But then Yandere takes a few pointed steps forward, planting himself right beneath the mistletoe. He rocks back and forth on his heels and gives Dark an expectant, cheeky grin. Dark can’t help it; he chuckles, and Yandere’s smile gets brighter.

“What am I going to do with you?” Dark asks Yandere as he walks forward, meeting Yandere under the mistletoe.

“Kiss me?” Yandere suggests, cheeks turning pink despite his flirty tone.

Dark chuckles again and obliges, leaning down to press his lips against Yandere’s. Yandere kisses back, slow and gentle, and wraps his arms around Dark. Dark lets one hand rest on Yandere’s lower back, the other cups his head, fingers ruffling Yandere’s hair. When they pull away, Yandere is breathless and smiling blissfully, and Dark can’t help but smile in return.

Perhaps mistletoe isn’t so bad after all.


End file.
